Create Your Own Path

Just because people don’t see you doing work, doesn’t mean that you’re not doing any.  Plus, who cares if people see you doing work or not.  It shouldn’t matter.  You don’t need the approval of others to change or to be successful.  Create your own definition of success.  If the path that most people take doesn’t feel right, then make your own path.  It’s crazy how much we compare ourselves to others.  We think about where we’re at in our lives, and then we compare it to how much someone else has accomplished.  But the truth is, your accomplishments should be your accomplishments.     

This is a video of my cousin, BBoy Kevo.  Search his name on Google, you’ll like what you see.  He’s been in bboy battles all around the world, because he is one of the best bboys in the world.  His passion is bboying, and he’s pursued it ever since we were kids.  He’s never cared about money or fame.  And that’s what makes him so great.  We had a conversation a few years ago and I asked him about his life and career as a bboy.  He told me, ”What I do isn’t normal“.  He didn’t care what other people thought about the path he chose, and he was proud of it.  I’m proud of it.  And even though he hasn’t been in too many battles lately, he continuously stays in the lab, practicing and mastering his passion.  Whether you’re battling or not Kevo, 2012 is your year.

So in this new year, here’s some things you may want to keep in mind:

1. Who cares about social approval.  You don’t need it.  And you can’t make everyone happy.
2. Make your own definition of success.  Why have a huge house and fancy cars if you don’t need it?  Quality time with people you love should be enough.
3. Create.  If you’re passionate about something, whether it’s art, dance, or music, you’ve got to create.  Start a blog, write a song, or choreograph a short dance routine.  The smallest of steps will create momentum.
4. Don’t do things you don’t like doing.  It sounds so simple but I’ve realized that we constantly put ourselves in situations that we don’t want to be in.  Pursue what you love and forget about the rest.

Today your life might be rough, challenging, and full of failures.  But have faith that one year from now, your life will be completely different.  Just remember that.

For all you twenty-something year olds

Your twenties is a difficult age to be at.  You think you’ve found your passion and you’ve planned out every step you want to take.  But then life suddenly pulls you in another direction.  And the crazy thing is that you have no idea why.  Just when you’re beginning to move forward, you realize that you know so little about yourself and the world around you.  It feels like chaos.  It feels like you’re lost.  But that struggle has the potential to change your life.  And that’s when your life actually begins.

History is filled with people in their twenties who changed the game.  People who changed the world!  And it’s because they finally realized that they had the potential to achieve something great.  So they committed themselves to a greater cause that had universal resonance.

 Che Guevara

As a 23-year-old medical student he took a motorcycle trip through South America.   On this trip he witnessed the widespread poverty, hunger, and disease these countries experienced.  It was after this trip that he decided he would fight and die for the people, and for his dream of a unified Latin America.

 “We must struggle every day so that this love for humanity becomes a reality.”

 Steve Jobs

He dropped out of college after only one semester.  He then went on to co-found Apple Computers when he was 21-years-old.  His revolutionary products changed the way we incorporate electronics into our lives.  Rest in Power Mr. Jobs.

 “…have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.  They somehow already know what you truly want to become.  Everything else is secondary”.  

 Jay-Z

He was 26-years-old when he released his classic debut album Reasonable Doubt.  He started Roc-A-Fella Records with Damon Dash (25yrs old at the time) just one year earlier after being turned down by several major labels.  He now operates his RocNation entertainment company, Rocawear clothing line, and co-owns the 40/40 Club.

 “Used to rock a throw-back, ballin’ on the corner, now I rock a tailored suit, lookin’ like a Owner” 

So for all you twenty-something year olds, don’t be afraid, you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be in life.  So cherish and appreciate this moment, because it may be this moment that changes your life.  It might be this very second that your mind decides to tap into your greatest potential.  Your capacity is infinite, you just have to realize it.

-BrokeGraduate

When it feels like something’s missing

We’ve all had that urge to change our lives.  It’s like something is tugging at you and you have this uneasy feeling inside.  I’ve had this feeling many times before and I’m sure you have to.  I’ve tried many times to make drastic changes to my life but I would always fail terribly.  When I look back on those experiences there was always something that I was lacking.  In the past few months I feel like I finally found out what was holding me back.                    

• Mentorship:  I recently got back in contact with an older friend of mine.  I gave him a call because I knew that he would be able to give me guidance and advice on how to move forward.  Now we share our goals and dreams, brainstorm ideas, and check in with each other a couple times a week.  You’ve got guidance when you need help.  Someone who can ”put you in check” when they know you’re slipping.  Someone that will push you to do better.  Contact someone who you think would be a good mentor.  Someone older, successful, and “making moves” in life.  This could be a family member, relative, friend, or someone successful in your community. 
• Spirituality:  I recently started going back to church and going to gatherings outside of church as well.  I just knew I was in the right place.  A huge part of life is about the relationships that we have.  And being surrounded by a community of people who share your struggles and reach out to you is amazing.  It helps you realize that we should be much more thankful for what we already have.  My main mission in life is to help others.  And now I know that I need to drop my childish and selfish ways if I want to complete my mission.  If you feel like you need to reconnect in some way, don’t be afraid to seek it out.  It’s never too late.
• Health (mental/physical):  Getting your mind and body right is crucial.  The two work together.  You won’t take action if your mental strength isn’t there.  And taking action without the right motives will get you nowhere.  Cultivating positive thoughts in my mind constantly pushes me forward.  There’s no reason to entertain those thoughts of failure, because once I do then it’s all over.  Those thoughts of success have changed the way I live.  The way I speak to people, my eating habits, exercise, who I associate with, the kind of audio/visual media I expose my brain to; it all starts with my thought process.  Just remember that your thoughts affect your beliefs and your beliefs affect your actions.  Thoughts>Beliefs>Actions.
• Change of environment:  I recently moved out of my parent’s house a few months ago.  I just had to do it.  Living there was my “comfort zone” and I had to grow past it.  Having my own place is challenging and issues like expenses, food, and upkeep of the house have become a lot more serious.  It forces me to be more precise and responsible with my actions.  It’s helping me grow.  You can change your environment in lots of ways: where you live, the job you have, the people you hang out with, what you choose to study, or the college/university you go to.  It will be tough and you’ll have to do some things you’ve never done before to make it work.  But it’s probably a choice you need to make.

These are just some areas of my life that have changed in the past few months.  If you feel like you need to make a change in one of them, I encourage you to analyze your situation.  Think about other areas of your life that are holding you back.  Find out what’s missing and make that change. 

-BrokeGraduate

Five lessons I’ve learned since I graduated from college

1. Get out of your comfort zone constantly

No matter what you pursue in life, you’re going to have to stretch yourself to get there.  You can’t expect to get new results from doing the same thing over and over again.  Staying in your “comfort zone” is the reason why you aren’t making more money.  It’s the reason why you’ve been shy all your life and can’t work up the nerve to speak in a public setting.  It’s the reason why our ideas and dreams have never become a reality.  So stop limiting yourself.  Do something new or challenging everyday.  Your capacity is infinite and your potential is much greater than you can imagine. 

 2. Don’t make decisions based on fear

The fear of failure, embarrassment, and rejection can be paralyzing.  So much so that people take no action towards their goals.  I’ve experienced this many times in my life and I wish I would’ve acted differently had I known that I could’ve been one step closer to success.  We can’t let our fear limit us.  A person acting on fear would ask themselves, “What do I have to lose if I take that risk?”  But a person acting from personal power would ask themselves, “What do I have to lose if I DO NOT take that risk?”  The people that fail and make mistakes are the ones who were bold and brave enough to push past their fear.  So if you fail, think about the valuable life lesson that you have learned.  But if you succeed, you just took a huge step in building your dreams and developing as a person.      

 3. “Thoughts are things”

And the thoughts that dominate our mind today will eventually become our destiny.  Life will beat you down, people will say you can’t do it, and you’ll make mistakes.  So before you take action and see any results, you must truly believe that you have what it takes to succeed.  You must believe that YOU are going to be the game changer!  Who else is going to do it?  Right?  If you don’t believe in yourself yet, then just borrow my belief for now =).  

4. You are who you associate with

Many people call this the “circle of influence”.  Think about the five people you hang out with the most, find the average of their monthly income, and that will most likely be very close to how much you make.  That might sting a little bit right?  Yes broke graduates, I know how you feel.  If you’re constantly surrounded by people with bad habits and negative energy, don’t you think some of that stuff might rub off on you?  So change your circle of influence, or at least minimize your contact with certain people.  And yes they might miss you or be resentful that you’ve changed, but it doesn’t matter.  This is your life, so be aggressive.     

 5. Small habits mean everything

The problem is that most people feel that those small insignificant actions don’t have an impact on their lives.  The truth is that every single small action we take has a profound effect.  Every thing we do accumulates.  And it can accumulate into a pile of garbage or a pile of gold.  Your actions right this very second are you going to affect you ninety days from now.  It’s a simple choice.  Party or write a blog post?  Watch TV or read a book on personal development?  Go exercise or sit on the couch?  Failure or success?  Whenever you make a choice, ask yourself whether or not it’s going to take you closer to your dreams.

 -BrokeGraduate

Do you really want to be successful?

Ask yourself…do you?  Looking back at my life six months ago, if I was to ask myself this question, my answer would be “of course!”  But my actions and commitments did not reflect these same feelings.  It really took some time to think about how I wanted to live my life and who was going to help me get there (this was when the reality of being a BrokeGraduate really set in).  Our time must be spent on our passions and the people that we love in order to be successful.  So today I truly desire success.  I’m committed to devoting my time to: 

1. My family
2. My church
3. Health, exercise, and skateboarding
4. Reading
5. Writing (especially with my new blog)

And what will I cut out of my life to make room for my real commitments?

1. Partying and heavy drinking
2. Watching television or movies that contribute nothing to my life
3. Surfing the internet with no purpose
4. Unhealthy eating habits
5. And any other commitments that no longer fit into my life

Take some time and think about where and who you’re committing your time to.  Make a list.  And then write down what you’re willing to sacrifice to get to where you really want to be.  We only have room in our lives for our passions and the people we love.  Everything else is unessential.   

-BrokeGraduate

Take Action!

We were meant to live extraordinary lives, and that’s the truth.  So why settle for less?  Oh ok…so you don’t think you can achieve that goal?  Or get that dream career or be with your dream girl?  And who told you that it couldn’t be done? Exactly! You did!  Trust me, I’ve gone through the feelings of self-doubt and disappointment over and over again since I graduated college.  But every time you’re at a low point in life you’ve got to ask yourself…

What’s the point of living average???  

If you have dreams, goals, and desires, at least strive to achieve your very best potential.  Life is crazy.  And when you’re lost and have no idea where you’re going in life just DO SOMETHING!  I love Ben Affleck’s line in Boiler Room where he says “It’s time to get to work!  Move around!  MOTION CREATES EMOTION!”

What I’ve done when I had a strong desire to achieve something great but had no idea where to start:

1. Make Lists: I’ve taken notes on my passions, hobbies, life goals,  skills I’d like to acquire, inspiring websites/blogs/books/movies, and IDEAS!  Just getting these things down on paper can spark some inspiration.
2. Talk to someone: Think about people who are achieving their life goals.  Contact them and meet up for coffee or lunch.  That’s a great opportunity to get some guidance or advice.
3. Read: there’s tons of free material on the internet and in LIBRARIES (seriously, some people tend to forget about those).  Learn about what you’d like to pursue and go from there.
4. Volunteer: some amazing opportunities can arise from volunteering or getting an internship.  You’ll gain experience, skills, and meet many new people.  This can be with a non-profit organization (as I did), business, local elementary school, sports team, etc.

You don’t have to do all of these, just pick one.  This is your life.  You are in control.  So empower yourself.  Take action.